If you are too correct. What to do if you are ugly Plastic surgery is the way out
Hypersensitivity refers to excessive psychological vulnerability. It is expressed in increased sensitivity, anxiety, high susceptibility to any sensations. For a long time, such people were considered introverts, but modern research has shown that among hypersensitive people, only 70% are introverts, the remaining 30% are extroverts.
What other qualities are inherent in such people? “The nervous system of hypersensitive individuals is distinguished by a special sensitivity,” explains Ilse Sand, Danish writer, psychotherapist and bestselling author of "Close to the Heart. How to live if you are too sensitive person" . We notice many nuances and analyze them deeper than everyone else. We have a rich imagination and a vivid imagination. Thanks to their active work, our "hard drive" fills up faster, and we experience overexcitation. There is nothing to worry about, but if you are hypersensitive, then in a situation of intense communication you will feel an overabundance of information earlier than ordinary people, which will cause a desire to withdraw and leave.
However, it is these traits, according to many psychologists, that can enrich the lives of hypersensitive people. “The cause of increased excitability lies in our overly sensitive nervous system, but thanks to it we are able to experience genuine joy,” notes Ilse Sand.
It is hypersensitivity that makes us more creative, responsible, sensitive and attentive to others (which they no doubt appreciate).
True, this medal has a reverse side. “Hypersensitives expect from others the same sensitivity that they show themselves, but in vain - most people are absolutely indifferent to the feelings of others. And it’s better to be prepared for this than to be horrified over and over again,” reminds Ilse Sand.
Too sensitive people: how to make your life easier
The first and most important thing to do, according to the author of the book, is admit that you are different from the rest, and stop considering your features as something bad.
The second important step is be more gentle . As Ilse Sand notes, very sensitive people often have high standards for themselves and low self-esteem. “High standards must be strictly controlled, otherwise there is a high probability of mental overstrain. You need to focus on your own life principles and start the process of pacification. The rest is a matter of practice, says Ilse Sand. “The feeling that you can be yourself and not have to be overly helpful will have a positive effect on your self-esteem.”
* Find an activity you enjoy and return to it regularly. “Go for a walk and admire nature, pamper your senses with a bouquet of fragrant flowers, listen to good music, start journaling, write poetry or prose, spend time with someone you really care about,” writes Ilse Sand.
* Learn to say "no". In the absence of this skill, you will constantly suffer from overload and overwork. Don't worry: a politely worded rejection is unlikely to offend anyone.
* Don't wish for the impossible. “Maybe for many years you have reproached yourself for the fact that you do not have enough strength for everything that others are doing. Or get angry at yourself and force yourself into activities that overload your nervous system. This happens because you refuse to come to terms with the peculiarities of your personality and want to prove that the level of your abilities is no different from the level of the abilities of most others, the Danish psychotherapist explains. - Stop going out of your way, proving to others that you are as strong as they are, allow yourself to be soft and sensitive, adjust your life exclusively for yourself and suddenly you will find that the state of happiness is very different from your usual feelings of eternal pursuit and fight."
Recognizing your characteristics and learning to live in accordance with them is perhaps the main step towards peace with yourself.
Pushing aside dreams and tired of ideas, I'm waiting for winter like others do not. Remember when you promised it wouldn't rain? And they keep going and going I look in surprise from the apartment windows - Am I in a dream or is it still in reality?
Remember when you said that all life is a dream? I woke up, and strangely, I live And the next day I will play my role again, And laugh again out of place. Remember when you said that love is pain?! You're wrong, love is hell Anna Akhmatova. Poems of the classics.
Biographies of poets. Biography of S.D. Drozhzhin. -: Pushing aside dreams and tired of ideas, I'm waiting for winter, like others do not. Remember when you promised it wouldn't rain? And they keep going and going I look in surprise from the apartment windows - Am I in a dream or is it still in reality? Remember when you said that all life is a dream? I woke up, and strangely, I live And the next day I will play my role again, And laugh again out of place.
Remember, you said that love is pain?!. Pushing aside dreams and tired of ideas, I'm waiting for winter, as others do not. Remember when you promised it wouldn't rain? And they keep going and going I look in surprise from the apartment windows - Am I in a dream or is it still in reality? Remember when you said that all life is a dream? I woke up, and strangely, I live But take wise advice: Let her read my poems, Let her keep my portraits - After all, grooms are so kind! And these fools need a Conscience full of victory, Than bright conversations of friendship And the memory of the first tender days When happiness is pennies You will live with a dear friend And for a satiated soul Everything will immediately become so disgusting - Do not come to my solemn night.
I don't know you. And how could I help you? I don't heal from happiness. It is very strange that at the end of such a bright and wonderful day I saw this particular work for the first time 🤔 Having pushed aside my dreams and tired of ideas, I am waiting for winter like others do not.
Remember when you promised it wouldn't rain? And they keep going and going I look in surprise from the apartment windows - Am I in a dream or is it still in reality? Remember when you said that all life is a dream? I woke up, and strangely, I live And tomorrow again I will play my role, And laugh again out of place. Remember, you said that love is pain?!. Poetry. Classics. A. Order an analysis of the poem. Categories of the poem "Anna Akhmatova - Pushing back dreams and tired of ideas": Poems of Russian classical poets. Read the poem of the poet Anna Akhmatova - Pushing back dreams and tired of ideas on the site RuStih: the best, beautiful poems of Russian and foreign classic poets about love, nature, life, Motherland for children and adults.
Read Anna Akhmatova's poem "Pushing Dreams Away and Tired of Ideas" on the best poetry site. 💎 All the poems of great poets in one place. Pushing back dreams and tired of ideas Pushing back dreams and tired of ideas, I'm waiting for winter, like others do not. Remember when you promised it wouldn't rain?
And they keep going and going I look in surprise from the apartment windows - Am I in a dream or is it still in reality? Remember when you said that all life is a dream? I woke up, and strangely, I live And the next day I will play my role again, And laugh again out of place.
Remember when you said that love is pain?! You're wrong, love is hell! The portal provides authors with the opportunity to freely publish and discuss works of contemporary poetry. Other articles in the literary diary: Putting aside dreams and tired of ideas Full list of articles.
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Categories Post navigationOf course, this can only be your opinion, which is actually far from the truth. It's rare to meet really ugly people. It is important to understand that everyone has their own characteristics, and to perceive their far-fetched or real shortcomings precisely as features.
I consider myself ugly, how to be
Once Coco Chanel, who is now considered an icon of style, said: "If a woman is ugly, then she is simply stupid." Even in those days, there were many ways to highlight your best sides, and de-emphasize your shortcomings. At the present time, the fair sex has many opportunities to improve their appearance.
Realize that if you are ugly, then this is your choice. Want to get more compliments and love your reflection in the mirror? So, you need to act! Determine what features you are unhappy with, make a plan with points in which you write down how you can fix this or that problem. Now, with this plan in place, get to work!
Complexes or imperfect appearance
In fact, your lack of confidence in your own appearance can only be a complex that someone once instilled in you. You were pointed out to some kind of "flaw" and you believed in it.
Many of your "imperfections" that you are embarrassed by people may not notice at all or may not consider them as such. Such self-doubt speaks of low self-esteem, and a visit to a psychologist can normalize the situation.
Probably, many have heard stories about stars who, having a beautiful appearance, remained dissatisfied with themselves or complexed about their passing youth, going under the knife of a plastic surgeon. As a result, the appearance, which seemed to be the reference for millions of people, was simply spoiled. Such celebrities include Renee Zellweger, Lara Flynn Boyle, Melanie Griffith, Meg Ryan and many others. Surely, these women decided on the operation, ceasing to consider themselves beautiful. Look at the photos of these actresses before plastic surgery, and make sure that their claims to themselves were very far-fetched.
How to understand that you are a beautiful girl
One of the main criteria in this matter is the compliments of others. If people periodically point out the advantages of your appearance, then apparently you are really beautiful.
There are simply no certain patterns of beauty. The ideal changes every decade, and each culture has completely different ideas about female beauty.
However, note that beauty does not always carry charisma, charm, sexuality, or intelligence. It's great if you have undeniable external and internal virtues, but if you are deprived of physical beauty, you can be no less successful in all areas of life than written beauties.
Surely, you have often heard stories about how men leave their beautiful wives for the sake of seemingly completely inconspicuous persons. Many people ask: “What did he find in her?”, However, when you watch such women live, everything becomes obvious - they are so charming, smart, sexy and attractive that the external “commonness” ceases to be such.
And this effect happens quite often. You may hear about some woman that he is very beautiful, but when you see her in the first second, you do not understand the general enthusiasm. When you begin to observe such a woman, you suddenly also begin to notice her beauty. It's all about charm - they are not born with it, but actively develop it.
How to love yourself if I'm fat
If excess weight really upsets you, then there is only one way out - to get rid of it. Perhaps you think that you are doing everything possible, but the hated kilograms remain in place. So it's not true, and you're not doing your best, in other words, you're not trying hard enough.
Girls who cannot lose weight are either not motivated enough or have health problems. To exclude the second option, be examined by an endocrinologist, nutritionist, gastroenterologist.
Set yourself a deadline for losing weight. For example, you can read the stories of girls who lost their personal weight. There are many groups of this orientation in VK, where you can see the results “Before” and “After”, and make sure that with the right degree of desire and perseverance, you can also find the desired forms.
What to do if I have an ugly face (long nose, bad skin, small breasts)
Many believe that at least 50 percent of beauty is completely different qualities - not the nose or chest at all. If you have well-groomed hair, clean skin, healthy teeth and a slender body, then you can at least be considered a pretty girl or woman. All these points are quite achievable if you really want it.
There are several large sites on the Internet where girls leave detailed reviews with photographs of how they managed to grow their hair or bring it to its perfect condition. There you will also find information about skin care, sports activities and healthy diets.
Also on the Internet there is a lot of information on how to visually smooth out certain imperfections.
Plastic surgery is the way
If this is not enough for you, and some part of the body or face is seriously poisoning your life, it looks like it's time to think about surgery. Many women, for example, having undergone rhinoplasty, admit that they are very sorry that they did not take this step earlier. Contact a specialist and find out his opinion - do you really need an operation.
Consider possible risks. If plastic surgery remains your only option, choose your clinic carefully. Look for real reviews, try to get in touch with the institution's clients through a social network, asking them about all the "pitfalls" of the operation. Often, such interventions are not cheap, and if you do not have the required amount, then this is not a reason to be upset. Many clinics carry out the operation on credit, "breaking" the payment into several payments.
I don't like my height - am I too tall or short
No matter how tall you are, look for the good in it. High and low growth are good in their own way. Tall girls often envy petite girlfriends, and those, on the contrary, are dissatisfied with their diminutiveness, dreaming of adding more than a dozen centimeters in height.
To make it easier to gain self-confidence, find information about celebrities who are about the same height as you. They often look great and don't seem to have any self-esteem issues. See what these stars are wearing, what style and hairstyles they prefer, and try to get closer to these canons.
How to live an ugly woman
What to do to love yourself
Realize that there is no second you in the world and that's great! Perhaps your appearance really has some flaws, but why did you decide that they deserve more attention than your virtues?
Pay attention to your strengths, emphasize them, and focus on them. Behave confidently, and this will favorably affect the attitude of others. Probably, many girls have noticed such a phenomenon: a girl who is ugly in your opinion behaves confidently and even a little defiantly, and at the same time she has a wonderful personal life, and many fans seek her attention. Self-confidence sometimes attracts much more than external beauty.
Tricks of make-up and reincarnations with the help of clothes
There are many videos on the Web that clearly demonstrate how even the most nondescript person can turn into a magazine cover model after applying makeup correctly. Now there are many techniques, cosmetic products and salon procedures available that can significantly change the appearance for the better. Watch some video tutorials and you will understand that these skills are not difficult to master at all!
Clothing, like makeup, is designed not only to hide nudity from others and escape the cold, but also to draw attention to your winning sides, emphasize skin tone, visually enhance hair color, add or hide volumes in the right places and the like.
Determine your color type according to numerous tables on the Internet and read which shades suit you. It is quite possible that earlier, for some reason, you avoided, for example, pink, without even suspecting that combinations with it are the most suitable for you.
Examples of successful imperfect stars (movie or Hollywood) who became famous because of or despite their imperfections
There are many women in the world who cannot boast of a perfect appearance, but very few pay attention to it. However, if there are such, then these women do not care about their opinion, because they have achieved fame, recognition and success, despite criticism. Let's talk about some of them.
This woman is successful, rich and has many fans around the world. What made her so? At first glance, it is difficult to call the face of this actress ideal, but when you start to watch how she speaks, looks, moves, laughs, you forget that her appearance is not ideal.
In the 60s of the last century, she even played in the film "Funny Girl". This is a biographical film about the real person of Fanny Brice, who, despite many features of her appearance (strabismus, big nose, etc.), managed to become a real Broadway star. Barbara saw many similarities with Fanny in herself, but, like the prototype of the film, Streisand managed to achieve success, despite external shortcomings.
When Winnie was a child, she often had to catch other people's eyes on herself, and the reason for this was her Vitiligo disease. The girl had to face ridicule and insults, and she didn’t expect anything good from life until she pulled herself together and showed willpower. Having matured, the Jamaican native went to the show "America's Next Top Model", instantly captivating its creators. The girl managed to become famous in America and abroad, having entered into many expensive contracts. Now she is in demand, successful and famous, but once people around her called her a cow, because of the white spots on the dark skin of her face and body.
Now this graceful Englishwoman regularly flickers on the big screens, being for many women the standard of elegance. Surely, for Tilda herself, it is strange to be in such a status, because, according to her, in her childhood she was not perceived as a girl. The actress notes that she decided to "turn off sexuality", but this did not save her from the attention of the public, and it's all about incredible charisma!
The popular actress has heard criticism from her childhood and continues to hear it to this day, but this did not stop her from becoming a world-famous star. Moreover, he is a happy mother and wife. In addition, in her youth, Parker was in a long-term relationship with one of the first beauties of Hollywood - Robert Downey Jr., and today she is a real style icon!
The editors of Elle Girl, as always, know the answer to your questions of the day;)
Answer: How I understand you! And for sure, they not only don’t look, but even pay attention to you, only they’re not the same all the time: uninteresting, boring, younger than you or with some kind of bad habits and bad temper, right? If yes, then let's see what's going on. That you are just a super duper, we believe, and the whole editorial board, because we saw who asked this question, but it's still about you. There are five main reasons why you don't attract or attract the wrong guys.
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Reason one: your set of qualities scares guys away
Stop stop stop! This does not mean that you urgently need to become a mess, push your excellent self-esteem into a corner, pretend to be a fool and give up on your goals. On the contrary - develop these qualities in yourself - they are very useful, just know that you do not attract guys who are much lower than you in terms of development. And this is very good. I repeat, in no case do not change yourself in order to please the boys who surround you, sink to their level, just so as not to be alone - the last thing.
What to do: Determine what kind of guys you like, adequately assess whether there are such guys around you, and establish contact with them. If not, go to places where such guys appear more often. Since I don’t know what your type is, when you decide - make a query on Google, where such guys usually spend their free time - he knows.
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Reason Two: You Can Attract Grown Men
If you're over 18 - ok, that's great, you have a large selection of young people whose attention you can attract. Surely guys aged 18 and older are looking at you, you just didn’t pay attention or didn’t consider them as a potential couple. If guys from 14 to 20 are scared by girls of your type (guys are simply not ready for responsibility and cannot correspond to you, and you hardly need such people), then older guys, on the contrary, are very much attracted.
What to do: Try to change your mind about them and look for a guy among a different age category, just don’t get carried away when you are 18 and he is 45 - this is already a bit too much. And if you are not yet 18 years old, then wait a bit - everything will come by itself.
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Reason #3: You're too young
No, not in the sense that you are a baby, you still need to eat porridge, and not look for guys, you just might think that you are ready for a relationship, but in reality you are not. You will be surprised, but this psychological unpreparedness is reflected in our behavior, and the guys understand everything perfectly. And you can just look very young. In the modeling business, this is called baby-face, girls with such faces look 13 years old, although they are already well over 20. Guys are sometimes simply afraid to approach such girls, because it’s not written on your forehead how old you are, but in a criminal The code is very well spelled out what happens for relationships with children.
What to do: Don't worry. You don’t need to make up brighter and wear revealing clothes to look more mature - just change the pitch. Start acting like an older, more serious girl, change your style a bit (like stop wearing SpongeBob panties and a Mickey Mouse T-shirt), and you will see that guys intuitively recognize you as an adult girl, not a naughty child.
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Reason Four: There are simply no guys of your level in your social circle.
No, well, we all go for Christian Grey, Jamon Salvatore, Chuck Bass, Jughead, Ezra and Caleb, just not everywhere these guys are found. Theoretically, fate can push you if you ride the subway, and he is in an expensive car - the car may break down, and he will have to take the subway and snuggle up to you in a stuffy car for half an hour - but fate is a lazy and capricious thing, so you need to take everything into your own hands.
What to do: Stop waiting by the sea for the weather. If you like athletes - let's get to know each other on the sports ground, if you like movie lovers - create a blog about cinema and get accredited to press screenings, where it is full of film critics and experts, if you like elegant young people - they are found at exhibitions, receptions, restaurant openings and other events - promote your Instagram account and get invitations, or even go yourself - the best parties are those to which we were not invited;)
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Reason Five: You're Presenting Yourself Wrong
And a little more about style. You are, of course, an athlete, a Komsomol member and just a beauty, and you know about it ... but the guys don’t know! You do not walk around with a banner on which all your beautiful qualities are written? I hope that you have not yet reached such a degree of despair. So, if they do not know about all your virtues, how can they pay attention to you?!
What to do: Emphasize your strengths and learn to present yourself. Choose the perfect makeup palette for yourself - figure out what colors suit you, choose a hairstyle and stop tying them in a ponytail - this is a sign that you are in a hurry and you don’t have time for styling in the morning, and guys don’t get acquainted with girls who are always somewhere then they hurry. Find your own style in clothes (bloggers will help you) and do not put on every morning what first fell out of the closet, and do not neglect accessories. Walk slower and don't plug your ears with headphones - this way you reduce the chance of meeting someone on the street - a quick step will prevent you from catching up, and headphones - to call out, and the guy simply will not take steps so as not to look like an idiot. And also learn to present yourself, pay attention to Audrey Hepburn, Angelina Jolie, Marilyn Monroe, Kate Middleton - everyone has a style, and everyone has a different one.
Shyness is not a vice
First of all, stop biting and torturing yourself for being too shy. All our fears, and at the same time our insecurities, end where love begins. Sincere, pure and real. To ourselves (please - do not confuse with narcissism). And you need to be imbued with a rather simple idea that modesty and delicacy are virtues, and in no case are faults. As soon as it is firmly established in your mind, you will immediately begin to worry less. But it is your anxiety due to the fact that you are too clamped, and does not allow you to be liberated.
Smile!
Do you think this is bad advice? Wrong! Try to go to the mirror in the morning and smile at your own reflection from a pure soul. Happened? Now keep smiling. And now smile even wider and as cheerfully as possible ... In fact, few people cope with this test. For some, instead of a smile, some kind of grimace turns out, for others, facial muscles begin to twitch, for others it seems that only idiots can smile for no reason.
Do you also think that smiling when meeting strangers in the office or in your stairwell is somehow stupid? Believe me, a hundred thousand more introverts think the same way, who give the impression of stone idols. Few people are friends with them, they do not dare to get acquainted with them, they are not invited to parties, and if they are invited, they try to stay away from them. And you know, we are not surprised.
How to overcome shyness? Force yourself to smile, finally! Remember something pleasant more often and practice with all your might. And for starters, go at least to the nearest supermarket and smile at the saleswoman.
Don't stay at home
Psychologists believe that complexes are far from the main cause of shyness and shyness. A person simply does not have enough experience in communication. Have you ever noticed how you behave when you enter a society where there are a lot of people you don't know? The most desperate modest in such a situation usually keep quiet and generally withdraw into themselves, like a snail into a shell. Don't be afraid to talk to strangers.
How to get rid of shyness? Experts have an elementary, in general, advice: you need to be on the street more often. Yes, literally go and ask how to get to the library, even if you know the way there well. This is the way - to find out routes from unfamiliar passers-by - is considered a good workout.
talk
Try not to eat lunch alone. There is at least one ancient powerful instinct in people, connected with the rite of joint consumption of food. When they gather at the same table, their subconscious says: "We are friends, everything is fine." And now they relax, become more relaxed, and, therefore, more talkative.
It is during such “informal” conversations that you can learn a lot about a person. Try to memorize some information about your friends: the names of their loved ones, the names of animals, some important events from their lives. This is not a mandatory rule. But on occasion your memory can render you an invaluable service.
Don't panic if you don't know how to strike up a conversation. There are many things that can become a topic of conversation. Hobbies, movie premieres, the last book you read, a concert, a blog in LiveJournal - you can discuss any of them with your interlocutor.
Change your point of view
You are afraid to open up to a person, you are embarrassed to tell him what you think, you are afraid to do something wrong and find yourself in an awkward and funny situation. In a word, you are afraid that they can offend you and leave you alone. Therefore, you use impregnability as armor - this is quite a characteristic way of self-defense.
Try to change your point of view. Do not think about the fact that someone can leave you, finding you uninteresting, unattractive, and so on. Start thinking like this: "If he (so-and-so) does not appreciate my abilities, I myself will part with him." And repeat this like a mantra to overcome shyness and insecurity.
