How to regain interest in life after 50. How to restore interest in life: advice from a psychologist

Question to the psychologist:

Good afternoon.

My problem is the following. For about 8 years now, I have lost interest in life and am in a state of passive depression. It all started with the fact that I did not manage to enter the institute the first time, and managed to do it only in the second year. It was the failure of all my dreams, I put too much at that moment on this admission. My world then collapsed. When I nevertheless entered, I no longer felt any interest in studying, which I literally lived a year ago. When I entered, due to the lack of interest, studies began to be given to me with great difficulty, problems with discipline began, I was often late, because I simply could not force myself to get up in the morning, or I completely missed whole days of classes. If earlier I could leave home early in the morning and come only late in the evening, being first at school and then at the institute, now I have become a real homebody. At a minimum, I was regularly late and every time I was looking for a way to quickly leave the institute, to be released early. As a maximum - I generally stopped leaving the house. I didn’t want to go anywhere, I was not comfortable with the thought that I needed to leave my warm relatives. cozy walls. The house began to be perceived by me as my fortress, as my shell, a protective shell. At the thought of going out into the street in order to go somewhere, for example, to the same institute, I began to feel discomfort and even a little fear. I didn't want to leave my protective shell. Also, in addition to this, as a logical continuation of what has already been described, problems with academic performance began. Even the most elementary tasks caused me difficulties. I couldn't concentrate on anything. It was difficult for me to force myself to sit down to work, start doing something and fulfill it. The fear of failure because of that non-receipt has firmly settled in me. I put too much energy into it then, I worked very hard for this, I was very tired and it was very insulting for me not to do it. Now I didn’t want to strain on anything at all, I didn’t want to invest in any building. I already had bad experience when I put my soul and a bunch of strength into the business and broke off. And all this pain was so deep in me that I didn’t want to repeat it, and therefore I didn’t want to try at anything. If earlier I lived by studying, I liked to disappear at the institute for days on end, chatting with friends, now studying has become a real hell for me, I didn’t want to leave the house once again, I didn’t want to do anything, communicate with anyone.

And this state, this apathy, this closeness from life has been going on to this day for 8 years. I still can't bring myself to leave the house again. Yes, you have to go to work, but it's a necessity. But just to pick up, pack up and go somewhere, I can’t. Or I can, but it costs me no human effort. I can force myself all day from early morning until late at night to simply pack up and go to the store! At times, I still pull myself together and start to get out somewhere regularly, for example, every week to the theater or to the museum. But all the same, these fees are difficult for me, I am always late everywhere, I always force myself to go out for a long time.

Another problem is that I no longer feel the taste of life. I learned to enjoy and enjoy life! I really love, for example, the theater or exhibitions, but I do not experience the former pleasure and uplift of emotion from them. I don't feel emotions in any area of ​​my life! I'm alive like some kind of vegetable, capable only of physical movements but completely empty inside. I have been living in this constant feeling of emptiness, depression and apathy for many years. It happens a little better and I kind of come to life, I have dreams and goals again, but I burn out very quickly and drag out a miserable aimless existence again. I have no goals, no desires, no reason to get up in the morning. I don't want anything. I used to live, I burned, I ran everywhere, I did a lot of things, I was active. Now I can spend all day on the couch, staring blankly at the computer monitor. It seems to me that in the depths of my soul I still have that pain for not acting, and now I'm afraid to set goals for myself, I'm afraid to want something, because I'm afraid to lose again and again experience the pain of broken hopes.

I seem to understand all this, but I don’t know how to get out of this state. I will be very grateful for your help!

The psychologist Lyashenko Viktor Vladimirovich answers the question.

Hello Darina.

You wrote a rather emotional message. To write such a letter, to analyze and state everything in such detail, it takes a lot of mental strength. This indicates that you still have life in you, and you are capable of continuous efforts for the sake of what is of value to you, the need - for the sake of what you need.

You seem to really understand a lot. But what you understand does not in any way move you to reassess your choice, your attitude to what is happening and your pain, due to the fact that you have begun to worry about yourself ... perhaps helpless, incapable, weak, stupid, insolvent, unnecessary, etc., etc.

Your pain is so deep-seated for two complementary reasons:

1) Your world collapsed from failure at admission only because for some reason you saw all your meanings in this admission, in this success of admission. So, the word admission to the institute is the only measure of both your value and the value of life.

And then a failure, and all the meanings collapsed ... And there are no others, just as there were none. This lack of other meanings, except for some kind of social success (in your case, associated with entering the institute the first time), is one of the main factors in your hanging in "non-existence" - you are not valuable to yourself. You have value for yourself only if you have a number of some wonderful qualities ...

2) You do not dare to face these painful experiences. For in this case you will have to face your own worthlessness. After all, you value yourself only for something (for certain qualities and achievements), but you do not possess value in and of themselves.

However, indeed, it is very difficult to face some experiences alone, and we do not always find the courage and strength for this. But still, in order to stop running from yourself as a loser and bury yourself alive, you need to turn to this yourself (to yourself-such). Live communication with a psychologist makes this much easier (in correspondence, this, alas, is impossible).

Make up your mind if the life that is giving its voice to you now is important to you.

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It often happens that in a certain life period, interest in everything that previously seemed important and attractive may disappear. The person claims that interest in life has disappeared, and apathy, a state of deep depression, is to blame. In such a situation, extensive symptoms are observed. It is significant that in some cases there is no depression, the mood does not change. In this case, there is . This is dangerous and very difficult, because it is quite difficult to identify somatized depression. In particular, there is a negative background, and a person begins to think that his life has only bad sides. In addition, he is sure that the situation is exactly the same with his relatives.

In addition, in such a state, people are sure that they themselves are the cause of the failures that occur. In this case, it makes sense to find out what apathy is, because it is known that in this case a person becomes indifferent, does not strive for anything. Apathy is characterized by the fact that indifference to almost everything arises, and it does not matter that events of various importance occur in life, no activity arouses interest and attention. Is it possible to somehow overcome this indifference? Psychotherapists assure that there are always ways, it is important that a person knows about it, and does not think that he alone is experiencing such a problem.

Causes of this condition

It has long been proven that there are many reasons why a person can literally withdraw into himself. First of all, it affects professional activity If new stresses at work are added every day, then self-confidence can disappear for anyone, and thoughts arise that it is impossible to cope with the task, so there is only one step to depression.

Another reason is the presence of "childish traits" in a person, and basically, they are found in men. You can often hear that a man is a second child, and this statement has a certain meaning. It is known that if it is difficult for a man to overcome any difficulties in life, and this continues for a long time, then he can withdraw into himself, completely surrendering to depression.

While this doesn't happen often, it's easy to explain. This is the loss of loved ones, divorce, the collapse of a dream that you have been striving for all your life, and so on. In addition, there are people who are naturally depressed. Their faces almost always have a “mask of detachment”, although friends and relatives try to support them.

You should know that it makes no sense to try to cheer up such people, because after your departure they will again become gloomy and withdrawn. If you have lost interest in your usual life, you must not only try to get rid of this condition on your own and with the help of friends, but also get the help of a doctor.

Usually people are dismissive of treatment, even if they realize that they are suffering from depression, and this is a serious mistake. Currently, depression can be successfully treated with drugs, and the result of such therapy is always pleasing.

Reveal the cause

If everything has become indifferent, you don’t want to do anything, there is no interest in life, you need to find out what caused the depression. In practice, there are cases when a person suffers from a misunderstanding of the opposite sex, does not find common language. Over time, there is a closure in oneself, thoughts of hopelessness come. A person begins to think that no one will ever be seriously interested in him.

Moreover, this situation occurs not only among young people, but also with adults. If self-confidence is absent, a person is clamped, then it is required to liberate him, a stimulus is needed that allows him to gain confidence.

It's no secret that many women get out of depression thanks to shopping. To feel confident, updated and irresistible, it is enough to change the style, and then the whole world will see these updates. Of course, one shopping is not always enough, you will need to make new acquaintances, go on a date.

According to experts, some women are lonely just because they are perfect, and men are simply afraid of their beauty. As a result, such ladies lose interest in life, because they cannot find a man who is able to truly love them, not only under the influence of external attractiveness.

There are moments that contribute to the withdrawal from apathy and from depressive states. In this case, individual qualities and character traits play a role. It is important to balance the diet, eat regularly, and at the same time, forget about snacks, you need to eat in accordance with the schedule. Me should be calculated in such a way that there are no deficiencies in minerals, vitamins.

Get yourself a notebook of successes, and enter into it everything that you have succeeded, even the little things. Including dark chocolate in your diet, although it may seem banal, but this method also helps to improve the situation. The thing is that thanks to chocolate, endophins are released.

There are cases when a person was returned to normal life with the help of a shock fast state. That is, a certain incident has occurred, measures must be taken, so the patient immediately forgets about his depression, he begins to work on solving the problem. But, such moments are carried out under the supervision of a specialist, it is not recommended to carry them out on your own, you can get even deeper negative consequences.

Another important point if interest in life has disappeared, this is the observance of the regime of night and day. It is very important that the structure of sleep is not disturbed, you need to fully rest. To distract from bad thoughts, you should find a new hobby. Perhaps it will be some kind of occupation that was dreamed of back in childhood, but it was not possible to implement it.

If something in life does not turn out the way you would like, you should always remember that new events are constantly happening, and this allows you to start looking at the situation differently, more optimistically.

You can lose interest in life in any conditions. For some, this happens due to depression, but for some, everything seems to be fine: the house is a full bowl, high paying job, the family is fine. But still something is not right, nothing brings true joy. Finding and restoring interest in life is not the easiest thing, but it is absolutely necessary.

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Where does interest go?

Life consists not only of joyful events, there are many difficulties in it. To cope with them, sometimes you have to sacrifice something significant. It happens that people leave important activities for themselves, devoting more time to what they consider necessary in given conditions. For example, instead of fulfilling themselves in their favorite business, they begin to make a career in a more promising industry. Then the interest slowly disappears, the person feels hopelessness, he may even lose heart.

The other person has experienced a major shock or stress. The consequence of this with a significant degree of probability can be depression, in which the ability to rejoice disappears and nothing can be of interest.

It may not be possible to get out of depression with the simple methods described in this article, then you need to contact a psychologist

We can say that the reason for the lack of interest in life is the loss of some meaning, the main goal. To find this means to become happy again, to achieve what you want, feeling a genuine interest in your favorite things.

How to restore interest

To regain the feeling of a vibrant life, you should start small. It seems that only great goals can cause genuine, breathtaking interest. This is not entirely true. It all starts with simple things. Try to start playing like children in order to re-learn how to live interestingly.

Think back to everything that brought you pleasure in the past. Feel free to make a list. A variety of things will come into play:

Delicious ice cream, - beautiful balloons, - walks in the mountains, - favorite movies, - meetings with friends, - much more.

Check if the whole list does not contain a single interesting or pleasant thing? Most likely, something will please you or interest you.

Do nice things. Interest is inconceivable without pleasure. Make another list that includes all the things you once wanted to do. Perhaps long forgotten, they will come in very handy right now!

It happens that the reason for the lack of a goal is not a loss of interest, but a fatal lack of self-confidence. Drop it, do what you like, not for the result, but for yourself.

Take a look at what is of interest to others. If none of the hobbies of friends are close to you, then pay attention to the people you admire. For example, you have been reading a blog for a long time, the author of which, a sweet girl, makes excellent toys from dried wool, and you have also been interested in this for a long time. Try to do whatever you like. As soon as you find something worthwhile, you will certainly feel inspired.

Once you choose something interesting, don't drop it. This is very important, because if you do not show some perseverance, you will soon lose your newfound interest again. A favorite thing can sometimes get boring, but the reason, as a rule, turns out not to be in itself, but in self-doubt, from which anyone would lose heart, so you should try not to allow them.

What to do?

• Start doing something. The more there is in life, the more it drags on and the more we mess around. You need to do interesting things in such a way that you get tired of it. It’s good if there are no pauses in your day: exercises, work, snow removal or yard cleaning, classes foreign language help neighbors. ..We start and act like an automaton without brakes: work, hobbies, self-development ... let your day be filled to capacity with different activities, and not monotonous.
• Go to a boarding school, a nursing home, Orphanage, hospital. Communicate with the inhabitants, bring them the necessary things or sweets for children, support and share love and tenderness. You definitely have a lot of it, and when you understand that someone needs it, it inspires.
• Take care of your body. A beautiful body has a beautiful and positive spirit. Therefore, find the kind of sport or activity in general that pleases you: fitness, hiking, swimming, horseback riding, dancing ... if you have been doing some kind of sport for a long time, you can change it for a while and diversify your activity. Most of all, hiking and social dances bring joy: here you have movement, communication, and a sea of ​​​​impressions.
• Imagine that you have only a minute, a day or a week left to live ... If a person is put a gun to his head, he is unlikely to be sad and fall into apathy. That is why there are so many people who play with death and are fond of extreme sports or extreme sports in general.
• Unblock your feelings. This refers to the negative, those that we hide from ourselves. To do this, you can go to a psychotherapist or look into yourself on your own. Just alone with ourselves and in complete peace, we focus on breathing and think about how we really feel for our parents, children, ourselves, our half. Immerse yourself in these feelings and don't be shy about them. So a lot of negativity will come out and the attitude towards relatives and friends will change for the better. And at the same time, interest in life will return.
• Laugh. You can make up a whole one that you haven’t watched yet, and watch one at a time every day, you can read jokes or funny stories. You can peep and eavesdrop on funny things on the street, at work, on the bus. It does help! You can also smile at everyone you see on the street and not be afraid that you will be considered strange. Someone will count, and someone will smile in response.
• Create your "party". Remember old friends, make acquaintances, organize interesting meetings, introduce people to each other, unite with a common interest or idea! Believe it or not, you can have a luxurious club of interests in your yard: chess, mafia, preference, needlework. Share with people what interests you and get energy from them. Just don't go inside!
• Find your purpose. Or remember him. You can work with a psychotherapist, or you can scroll back your life and remember when you enjoyed life, burned and saw the meaning in your existence. When did it stop? When did you turn off this path? Why did it happen? Find that moment and rewrite life from there.
• Take a rest. Stop, meditate, get out into the forest or to the river, listen to the water and fire, listen to the forest, fresh air and your soul. Nature and relaxation are also cures for depression.
• Set a new goal. Or just a bigger task. It will be a crisis, which means a chance to grow and become better, change, move to a new step. Here it is important to take small steps, dividing your goal into stages and milestones. Not a day without a step towards your dream!

Many have such periods in life when all interest is lost in it. People begin to remember the years of their youth, when they were interested in any events, they aspired to something, achieved something. They rejoiced at every little thing and every evening, going to bed, they dreamed that a new day would come faster. Where do all these feelings disappear over the years, how to deal with it? How to regain interest in life?

Reasons why life becomes insipid

In fact, it is easy to understand why interest in life is lost. People begin to close themselves off from the outside world, do not want to see and hear everything that happens. In a similar way, a person exhibits a defensive reaction that helps to hide from the pain encountered on his life path.

Everyone can remember how often he says such phrases: I do not want to see this, I do not want to hear this, I have no desire to experience this again. During the pronunciation of such phrases, people trigger certain mechanisms:

• Destruction program.
• Completely close any feelings.
• The real world in all its manifestations is no longer perceived.

Regardless of whether a person understands that with such thoughts he gives an order to launch a program of destruction, he acts. A person has several channels of perception, on which the understanding of the surrounding reality depends. How to regain interest in life? You need to learn how to properly perceive the world around you.

Signs of depression

If there is no interest in life, what to do? How do you know if a person has depression? Psychologists define it by the following features:

• A person ceases to please any events that previously caused positive emotions. Apathy, sadness, guilt and despondency appear.
• The person no longer sees a way out of the current situation.
• Losing interest in intimate life and reduced physical activity. Sleep became short, and interest in food was lost.
• Self-confidence completely disappears, and a person begins to avoid other people. In some cases, suicidal thoughts appear.
• People can no longer control their feelings and emotions.

It is quite difficult to get out of this state, but it is possible, and in such a situation it would be useful to seek help from a psychologist.

Vision is a visual channel of perception

Thanks to vision, people have the ability to see, to distinguish a large number of shades, to notice everything that is happening around. When people age, their eyesight deteriorates, but not because the ability to see is lost. Scientists conducted many experiments and were able to prove that it can be 100% even in old age.

The visual perception of the surrounding reality depends on how ready a person is to notice and accept everything that surrounds him. Any resentment, manifestation of anger and irritation "closes people's eyes." Diseases associated with the loss or deterioration of vision appear due to the fact that people do not like everything they see in their lives. In children, such illnesses arise because they do not want to see what is happening in their families.

Hearing is an auditory channel of perception

Hearing is the most important channel for perception of the surrounding world. It also affects the ability to speak. Vibrations that are emitted by sound are perceived not only by the organs of hearing, but by the whole body. Therefore, when a person closes the possibility of perceiving information with the organs of hearing, he is fenced off from life and the surrounding reality.

People often ask back what was said, in large part because their attention is so distracted. Also, auditory perception is closed in cases where the interlocutor screams loudly, especially if it is something unpleasant. Children often have hearing problems due to high-profile scandals in the family, they do not want to perceive it, and as a result, various diseases arise.

Sensory channel of perception: sensations and feelings

A person receives most of the information through feelings, and he closes them, if something goes wrong, instantly. Often this happens when he is faced with insurmountable obstacles, such as fear, resentment, love suffering. Life becomes uninteresting because its taste is lost. It has a direct relationship with the perception of any smells, tastes, as well as great importance have tactile sensations.

People often resort to easy way to turn off such a channel of perception is smoking. Also, you can dull your feelings by closing yourself in, computer games and the Internet allow you to escape reality into another world. Today, when technology has developed to a high level, this happens very often.

How to regain interest in life? Some recommendations

If you lose interest in life, what to do? There are some rules for those who have lost interest in life, they will help to regain it.

You need to completely change your schedule. This may be a change in the route that a person follows to work. Perhaps you should abandon the transport that he follows, or get off a little earlier than your stop and continue on foot. Many people find it helpful to listen to their favorite music while traveling and commuting to work. This helps to strengthen the nervous system.

How to regain interest in life? Psychologist's advice: you need to start experimenting and stop being afraid of the new in your life. It is also important to stop eating the same food. Change your hairstyle, if it has not changed for a long time, update your wardrobe. You need to start enjoying all sorts of innovations.

It would be useful to update the interior in your home, you may even have to throw away some old things and purchase new ones. It also helps to add new colors to the interior of the apartment.

You will need to become a little selfish and get rid of those duties that were habitual and took a lot of time, but were not necessary. You need to start loving yourself and stop listening to someone, learn to believe in yourself. Rejoice in any small positive events in your life.

What needs to be done to regain the will to live

How to regain interest in life? The advice of psychologists boils down to the fact that you need to learn to accept the world around you as it is, and treat yourself in the same way, perceive yourself as real in this world and begin to respect. Be grateful for everything that happens in your life.

When a person has lost interest in life, what to do? Everything is very simple, in fact, life responds to what a person does in it, and all events do not happen by chance. To start living and enjoying what is happening, it is enough just to be a man with a capital letter, to believe in yourself and not to commit immoral acts.

In order to have a desire to live, a person must be completely satisfied with himself and everything that he does. Of course, it is difficult to imagine a person who will be satisfied with everything that happens, but he himself is not successful. But many people think that success is money. Everything is much simpler, a successful person is one who realizes himself and loves his kind of activity. There are people who do not have a large fortune, but consider themselves successful and enjoy life.

Success is not about having an expensive house, a car, a yacht. All these are just trifles of life compared to when a person was able to realize himself. A successful person always returns home with great joy and is glad to meet people close to him. Such people know what their meaning of life is, they have clearly defined goals to which they aspire.

If you have lost interest in life, what can be done the simplest? Even some of the world's leading psychologists advise not to lose a sense of humor in any, even the most difficult situation. And sometimes you can laugh at yourself.

How to help yourself: advice from psychologists

There are moments that help get rid of depression.

It is necessary, as strange as it sounds, to balance the diet. Stop doing all sorts of snacks that do not lead to anything good. It is necessary to balance your diet so correctly that you do not have to resort to the additional use of some vitamin complexes. It is useful to eat a small amount of dark chocolate, it helps to release endorphins.

It helps to cope with the problems of keeping your diary, in which you need to write down any little things that happen in life, both successes and defeats. Sometimes there are cases that help get out of depression - this is a state of shock. These are moments when a person needs to urgently act in a given situation. In such a state, he forgets about all the problems that do not allow him to live normally. It is important that such actions are under the control of a specialist, otherwise the negative consequences can be very dangerous.

Lost interest in life? You need to pay attention to such simple things as the daily routine and night. Analyze if the sleep and rest regimen is correct. First of all, you need to normalize sleep and be sure to find some favorite activity that will become a hobby. Thanks to this, you can completely escape from pressing problems.

If it seems that everything in life is bad, then how to find interest in life? You need to reconsider your views on her and understand that she is rich in many positive events. You need to become more optimistic. Believe that life can change in positive side and start making every effort to do so.

Most people tend to exaggerate what is happening in their lives. You need to look back and analyze what is happening, and then everything will begin to fall into place. Perhaps some of the problems were too exaggerated or even far-fetched. Best of all, in cases where depression has overcome, look around and see how colorful the world around is. Start enjoying life and things will start to get better.

Pause in your affairs as a means of combating depression

How to restore a person's interest in life with the help of a pause in business? There is nothing difficult in this. You just need to relax, maybe meditate or go to relax in nature. To feel how pleasant it is to meet the dawn in some of your favorite places. Spend the evening by the fire. Watch how the water flows, and at the same time not remember your problems. Listen to your soul and remember some pleasant moments in life.

Remind yourself of your life purpose

How to return joy and interest in life? For this, a person needs to remember his innermost dreams, because everyone had them. It is necessary, as it were, to return to the past and find what pleased at that time, the meaning that gave energy and the desire to live. Then it’s good to think at what exact moment a turning point in life occurred and what exactly happened, why the desire to live disappeared. Then you need to mentally return to the place and time when it happened, and rewrite the past. After such a rethinking of everything that happens, you should begin to live in complete harmony with your soul and check everything with it. The medicine that can help overcome psychological difficulties is in everyone's soul.

How to stop blocking feelings

There are 2 options for psychologists' advice on how to regain interest in life and stop blocking feelings.

First: you need to try to look inside yourself, as it were, to understand what kind of emotions you want to hide from others and yourself. Then you need to accept them completely, feel, experience and just let go.

It is best to do this in childhood. A child can freely, without embarrassment, cry if someone offended him, and immediately forget about everything and start playing, doing his favorite thing. Thus, children easily let go of negative emotions.

It is much more difficult for an adult. He needs to find a place where no one will see him. Calm down and understand what emotions are most disturbing to him. When he has dealt with this, he needs to accept them, to feel them fully, and so he can dump negative emotions. Negative feelings will no longer be blocked, and it will become much easier.

The second option: a person needs to seek help from a psychotherapist.

Laughter is the simplest cure for depression

A person just needs to perceive everything easier. Start every morning with a smile and understand that life is beautiful, no matter what. It is very useful to watch comedy films. Such a simple therapy has helped many to begin to enjoy life and get rid of negative emotions that eat from the inside.

Conclusion

There is a well-known truth: any correctly posed question carries an answer. A person wondering how to regain interest in life is already on the right track.

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