What to do if the child is stupid in everything. The child does not study well
Quite often, losers are far from stupid children. A smart girl and a quick-witted boy now and then bring bad grades. Let's try to figure out the reasons why a child does not study well. Consider all options. Poor academic performance from the very beginning of school life, or in high school.
Heightened self-esteem. Most often, when a child is used to easily getting everything he wants, it is difficult for him to understand and accept the need to work on his own in order to get a result.
At home, he is praised and admired by the very fact of his existence. There will be no such relationship in the school. The child gets into a pose and refuses to learn.
Solution: you need to stop showering your child with gifts, and praise him only in words. The child must understand that parents are senior leaders and educators, and not an eternal source of material wealth.
Ratings only. When parents are only interested in the numbers in the diary and in notebooks, and not the inner world of the heir. In daily running around, we often simply do not have time or do not want (there is no strength left) to hug the baby and ask about friends, mood or failures. Only marks, marks, marks.
Good grades - mom pats on the head and runs to the kitchen. Dad might not talk about school at all. But in vain. After all, the whole life of children passes among peers and teachers. And not always joyfully and without conflicts. So the child begins to try with bad grades to draw the attention of relatives to internal experiences and, perhaps, problems.
Solution: start spending more time. Walk together, play board games and read. Go to the park, to the skating rink, to the cinema. Talk, but do not use the words "grades", "school". Share your memories of childhood and friends - girlfriends. Tell us what games you played and what films you watched, how you resolved conflicts. The child will be drawn into the conversation and feel that you are concerned not only with the fact that he does not study well, but also with his state of mind.
Excessive exactingness. If parents expect more from their children than what he is capable of, and make excessive demands, the child begins to be afraid to make decisions on his own, fearing criticism and anger from elders. Such children prefer to remain silent in the classroom and not participate in the educational process.
Decision. If you notice this behavior in your child, change the way you communicate with him. In order for the student to believe in himself, praise him for his diligence, diligence in completing the lessons, for the initiative. Let the child understand that independence is cool and pleasant. Make a daily routine and help organize free time. Sports sections are very good at educating discipline and independence. Enroll your child as he wishes, support him in his efforts and praise him for his successes.
The student is not interested in learning. Children are pragmatists and do not understand why accumulate knowledge that is not yet known, whether it will ever have to be applied.
Try to find something for your student to enjoy, where he can see science in action. Go around all the clubs that are in the school or the nearest children's club. Young chemist, cook, designer, physicist. Circle of modeling, knitting, programming. Useful knowledge of mathematics, physics and other skills gained in the classroom.
No rivalry. A child does not learn well if he does not have an incentive. When a child-leader sees that his efforts and high performance are poorly encouraged by teachers and not appreciated enough by classmates, he loses all desire to learn.
Output. Involve the ambitious student in extracurricular activities. Let him show leadership qualities in the role of headman. Ask the teacher to give the child responsible assignments, to involve them in competitions and olympiads.
If you cannot agree with the class teacher, transfer the child to a class or school with stronger students, where he will be able to communicate with peers on an equal footing.
Excessive study loads. When parents set a too tight schedule of classes and sections for children, he gets tired. And in middle school and high school, when parental authority declines, a child can rebel and drop out of school.
To remedy the situation, it will be necessary to reduce the load on additional extracurricular activities. Listen to the heir. Transitional age and health problems can permanently or permanently unsettle a teenager. let him on weekends or even sometimes skip Saturday classes to be with you. Praise more for efforts in the subject that the child likes. Gradually, he will develop a desire to receive praise in other subjects as well.
Why do smart kids fail at school? I think you got the main answers to your questions. And none of our children are brakes. If something is not going well with our heirs with their studies, then it is only in our power to help them cope with the difficulties.
Remember yourself more often at school age and love children unconditionally. Childhood will fly by quickly, make it happy.
Guys, we put our soul into the site. Thanks for that
for discovering this beauty. Thanks for the inspiration and goosebumps.
Join us at Facebook and In contact with
“Child, 5 years old. For 2 damn hours we learn the letter "B", go to "C", and after half an hour he already forgot "B". What is this, stupidity? Or see a doctor?
I see such posts on social networks and hear them on the site regularly. And I can't be silent. Not because I'm a child psychologist. Not because he's an experienced teacher. Yes, I'm not even a mother with experience: my child is not even 2 years old! Everything is easier. I am that dumb kid myself.
My name is Asya Yavits, I run an honest and funny telegram channel " Everyday life of a bad mother" and especially for readers website I want to speak in defense of all "stupid" children.
At the age of 7 I was reading 32 words per minute in syllables. At the end of the 1st grade, my mother was called to school "to talk." The day before, we had a reading session for the whole parallel: each child had to bring his favorite book and promote it. One girl brought the "Little Prince". The main honors student brought, of course, Jules Verne. And I brought the coloring book. With fairies. The text was there too, by the way! Well, something like "This is the fairy Flora." Or “Color Fairy Fauna and Fairy Flora. What beautiful dresses they have. For some reason the teacher didn't appreciate it.
It wasn't easy for my mom. I had to part with confidence in my fantastic abilities for motherhood. And what else to do when first you have a child who at 8 months arranges chess pieces into cells, at 1.5 he quotes Mandelstam from a stool, and at 2 he reads it on his own ... but your next child starts walking at 2, and at 5 he plays chess and books with dolls?
With mathematics, I was even worse: when dad at the end of the 3rd grade tried to explain to me that when transferring from one part of the equation to another, the sign changes, then after 3 hours the cornice understood and collapsed. But I persevered. My brain did not succumb to these logical explanations.
They took me to psychologists, they showed me cards. They also gave me pills. I was not just dumb, I also sucked my thumb until I was 7 years old and pulled my navel. Psychologists and doctors prescribed drugs in batches. Grandfather the doctor saw one of these lists and said that this was a wonderful recipe for "psychiatric saliva vegetable". But, he says, he will stop playing chess with dolls, of course.
What am I all for? In addition, I have 2 red diplomas - economic and philological faculties. In the 3rd grade, I read the best in parallel. In the 6th, she took 3rd place at the mathematical Olympiad of the coolest physics and mathematics school in St. Petersburg. Not only did the pills that I regularly poured into the trash helped.
How did it all work out? Of course. Just when it's time. Okay, okay, with reading not by itself. But without a scream and a belt, for sure.
After being called to school about coloring books, my mother spat on the psychologists, and all summer I was obliged to read daily from the Adventures of Carnation page. Aloud.
And in the fall, my mother read all sorts of books to me at night herself. But in the evenings, besides reading, she had a lot of "unimportant" things to do - cook dinner there, put something away, prepare for tomorrow's lecture. And she began to "not have time" to read to me. And by the way, it's hard to go to bed, leaving Tim Thaler crying alone in a dark park. Not knowing what happened next! So I had to read it myself.
Then it was not very cool to listen to the same thing for the second time, but not to admit to my mother that I learned to read? At some point, she still caught me doing this shameful activity, but she didn’t stop reading aloud, she just continued now from another place.
So, if you are the parent of a "stupid" child who, to spite you, does not want to turn on his brain, I ask, I beg you, don't touch it. Give him time. A lot of time. Find out his motivation. Find a good teacher. Not the one who will squeeze out all the juices, but the one who will interest. Yes, so that the child himself will find the right Olympiad and win it.
I believe that your strength is running out, I believe that at this age you were like nuts cracking all these "Masha had three apples, and Petya gave her one more." But if your child does not click them, then maybe he just asks other questions? What kind of Masha are we talking about - about the one from the dacha, or the one from the kindergarten? And if this is Masha from the kindergarten, then why does she need apples? She doesn't eat them. And in general, why did Petya give her more for no reason? And the banal "how many have become" will begin to excite him later, when the time comes. Or they will not start - without them, you can also be happy, right?
Today, there are a lot of various methodological developments aimed at helping parents in raising children. However, many of these methods contradict each other. After all, some teachers believe that children need to be pampered, others should be kept in strictness. Still others - recommend giving children complete freedom, fourth - to educate by example. However, all teachers, practitioners and theorists are unanimous in their opinion that the most important thing in raising children is love! From the very first days, the child must be surrounded by attention and care. Parents should clearly understand a simple truth - it is not our salary that makes children happy. First of all, they need parental care and love.
In the article we will talk about which household items and toys are initially useful and necessary for the baby, and over time can cause quite serious damage to his development.
Nipple after a year
The sucking reflex in a baby is closely related not only to receiving food, but also to a sense of security. Putting the baby to the breast, mommy gives him some of her warmth, the baby feels her care and love. Baby is comfortable and relaxed. It is not surprising that in the future he will try with all his might to prolong this feeling. Therefore, it can be very difficult to wean him from a pacifier or pacifier.
What are the consequences of a prolonged "sucking" reflex? Of course, to the habit. A grown baby will suck water from a bottle all night, or not remove a finger from his mouth. At primary school age, the child will begin to suck or gnaw on the end of a pencil or pen. At an older age, it is possible that a cigarette will replace the nipple.
Often, loyalty to this habit leads to a damaged bite and crooked teeth, to frequent stomatitis, to psychological dependence. According to psychologists, the incentive for the further development of children is their exit from the comfort zone. Therefore, after a year, parents should make every effort to ensure that their child parted with his usual nipple.
Diapers after 1.5 years
We will not urge modern parents to abandon diapers in favor of the usual gauze diapers that our grandmothers used. But we will not support mothers whose children continue to wear diapers at the age of three. The discomfort that babies experience in wet pants will encourage them to further development. They will try to control their behavior and are more likely to be potty trained.
As soon as the baby is one and a half years old, parents should pay close attention to this behavioral aspect. Of course, diapers for modern mothers are salvation, but they should not forget that at the age of one and a half, the crumbs begin to form conscious control over the excretory function. As soon as the baby begins to use the potty, he will learn to regulate all his behavior in general.
Curved spoons and walkers at any age
Loving parents try to make life easier for their child to the maximum. Cunning manufacturers, taking this desire into service, immediately released curved spoons for children.
Undoubtedly, curved spoons will reduce the amount of porridge on the floor, save the amount of soap that parents will need to wash their baby's dirty face, but .... They will in no way contribute to the development of spatial representations in the child and will not allow him to formulate a picture of the world around him in a timely manner.
The same situation will be observed with walkers. Of course, constantly using a walker, your baby will forget about the falls, but he will not feel the terrain surrounding him. As a result, he will lag behind his peers in development, and for him the world around him will still remain a mystery.
Talking interactive toys after 2 years
In this section, we will talk about toys that pronounce whole phrases, answer questions. With these toys “stuffed” with electronics, the child tries to communicate, conduct dialogues, carefully listening to their answers.
According to psychologists, prolonged contact with such toys is harmful to the child. After all, he mechanically begins to repeat the same phrases, not focusing on the very context of the situation. A rather limited set of phrases does not contribute to the development of the game. Of course, interactive toys are quite funny, but they are not suitable for friends. The child's friends should be his peers.
TV at any age
Undoubtedly, television is one of the outstanding achievements of mankind. However, according to most scientists, prolonged and uncontrolled viewing of television programs has a negative impact not only on the health of children, but also on their development. Children very quickly get used to the TV, very small crumbs urgently require their parents to turn on the “magic box”. And not always they watch only cartoons. In most families, children manage to watch all the programs in a row - news, adult films, sports programs, music shows and endless commercials. All this information in the mind of the child is mixed up in a heap and, of course, ceases to be any useful.
Doctors warn :
- Babies and TV are incompatible concepts.
- Children from one year to three years old can watch TV for no more than half an hour a day. When watching cartoons, one of the adults must be next to the baby. And not just to be, but to follow the developing events together with the child, to explain, supplement and make the necessary clarifications.
- At 5-8 years old, parents should also strictly limit the time they watch TV shows. The programs that children will watch at this age should be educational.
- Long-term television viewing has a negative psychological impact on the child. The child may become nervous, short-tempered and unbalanced.
- Parents should not use the TV as background sound either. Children quickly get used to it and absolute silence frightens them.
Sweets without limits
Loving parents want their children to have nothing to lack. There is a huge vase of sweets on the table, cakes in the fridge - all this is wonderful! However, then parents should not be surprised why their children eat nothing but sweets. Juices, sweets, cookies, cakes before meals completely fill the volume of the child's ventricle, provoking refusal to eat. By the way, parents should not forget about the condition of the teeth of little sweeties.
Electronic games without limits
Computer and electronic games have already firmly entered our lives. Of course, no one will dispute the fact that many games carry a lot of useful information and have a beneficial effect on the development of children. However, everything is good in moderation.
The main danger posed by electronic technologies is the emergence of gambling addiction in children. Many teenagers, having fallen into such an addiction, cease to be interested in real life and go into the virtual world with a “head”.
Of course, parents should not completely prohibit electronic games, but they must limit the time spent at the monitor. Indeed, many children become real gamers, they lose their appetite, they abandon their studies, they do not sleep well. Children, unlike adults, do not know the measure. In some particularly difficult cases, parents are forced to seek help from psychologists.
Monster toys at any age
Children's fantasy is repelled by the surrounding reality. However, during the game, she is able to transform.
Monster dolls: what is the harm to the child?
Child psychologists continue to have endless debates on the topic - should children buy monster toys? Some are sure that such toys are not capable of causing any harm to the child's psyche. Brave heroes during the game will surely defeat the monster. After all, in any fairy tale there are bad characters. However, other experts do not agree with this opinion. They are sure that ugly dolls and transformers with evil faces should not be present in the children's playroom. Some parents believe that freak dolls help children cope with fears. However, most psychologists believe that only a loving mother can help cope with children's fears. And monster dolls can only cause additional trauma to the child's psyche.
Tricycle scooters after 3 years
If your three-year-old has mastered cycling, great! However, riding this type of children's transport involves only the lower half of the body. Back, abs, arms rest. Another thing is a scooter. When riding it, all parts of the child's body are included in the process. The child develops faster and more actively. When choosing between a two-wheeled and three-wheeled scooter, pediatricians recommend focusing on the first one. After all, the fewer wheels a scooter has, the faster a child will develop a sense of balance.
Free pocket money at any age
Psychologists believe that financial education should be carried out by parents from an early age. Only in this case, the child will learn to spend money rationally, and will know their “price”. The times when our parents told us that happiness is not in money are behind us.
Why should kids have pocket money?
- Money helps to develop a sense of responsibility in children.
- They develop their independence.
- Learn to make decisions.
- The presence of money significantly increases self-esteem, and gives the child confidence.
However, giving pocket money to a child should not become a habit. After all, if at first the child is happy, having received a small amount, then in the future his requests may grow. He may begin to take money for granted, and even demand it from his parents. The issuance of money should not develop into a consumer attitude towards parents. Even adults can't always survive the ordeal with easy money. As for the children, everything will depend on the correct behavior of the parents.
How much money to give a child? The question is purely rhetorical, because in this case everything will depend on the needs of the child and the financial capabilities of the parents. However, adults should remember that easy money corrupts children, makes them dumber and greedier. Children must understand that their parents' money does not fall from the sky.
Mom, everyone offends me - They are all bad son.
Teachers give me bad grades - Teachers are bad
I did not steal, I borrowed - Of course my child is not a thief, as you might think, he is very good.
A sure sign of stupidity, constant complaints.
Has your child read a single book outside the school curriculum by the age of 17? Your child is STUPID! Is he interested in anything? He is STUPID! He talks about what he has no idea about - STUPID!
Do not flatter yourself with the illusion that he will go through the army, graduate from the institute and be lucky. He will forever remain stupid, the basis of the bydlomass. Trainers first signal. Is he so good because he eats well? What are you happy about? You are growing a poop maker.
When he goes to work, he will find himself in a competitive environment where children who read books, were interested in something outside the school curriculum that their parents were engaged in, will occupy a position above your offspring. He will walk around and whine about how hard he works, what kind of "morons" surround him, and stupid bosses cannot see his talents. What talents? Empty head! And you will stroke his head, support and make it worse. Then he will be completely disappointed in his work, he will sit on your neck and will live on your pension in your apartment.
Don't know where to start? How to find an approach to a child? How to teach him to develop himself? Read books! They have all the answers! No school will teach him to think.
Don't feel sorry for him automatically, teach him to ask himself questions. Everyone offends you - Why? Nobody loves you? - Why? Once he finds the answer, he will have the opportunity to correct the situation.
My child could not kill. Why is that? Who taught him to appreciate life? Who explained to him the consequences of his actions? None? Then why couldn't he? Is he good because he doesn't smoke? Wake up, he just doesn't smoke, well done. Does he exercise? Fine, but Gazprom does not need such managers (no one needs them). Need smart, well-read. Otherwise, a non-smoking loader.
A three-time divorced mother teaches her daughter how to treat men? That's FUCK!!! Sometimes it is better to be silent than to speak. Dad, who has worked all his life as a watchman (guard) instead of saying: Son, study, read, otherwise how I will live - Gives instructions on how to live properly and that only nerds learn, losing the most valuable years. Hey papa? Your kind will not develop, but will degrade and will soon disappear, know this.
What inspired ... Once a mother came and was indignant at the fact that her "young genius" came for an interview, but he was not hired. He is her best and we have no right to refuse him employment and she will go to court. Welcome! I'll call my friends, let's smash together! Her offspring is a dumb, pan-torpedo gopnik. To me, God forbid such employees, such clients. How can I let him into the office? What if he starts licking the outlet or insulting customers? Is he the best because he's yours? So pay him a salary, so listen to his claims and show-offs. I do not need…
Parents want the best for their child. Therefore, they try to provide him with everything necessary, to give him their love, attention, care. But, often maternal and paternal love blinds, and pushes parents to make mistakes that hinder the natural development of the child. What can harm the development of the baby? Let's look at common parenting mistakes that harm a child.
1. Independent decision making.
You can often hear phrases like this from parents: “I am a mother, I know better what my child needs!”. And this is true, because who, if not parents, know the needs and characteristics of their baby. But, after all, the essence of education is not only to create ideal conditions for him, in which he will be comfortable and safe. You need to gradually teach him to make decisions and understand their consequences. Therefore, from a young age, you need to trust the baby to make decisions, albeit not very important ones. Ask the child what he wants to wear for a walk today? What story does he want to read? Sometimes, you need to let your child make mistakes so that he can learn to make independent decisions. In families where parents do not give such an opportunity, children grow up infantile and dependent on them. This definitely hinders their development and does not allow them to become independent.
2. Anticipation of desires.
Firstly, it inhibits the development of speech and the skills of expressing one's needs. Mothers of babies up to one year old are forced to guess the needs of the baby. But, already closer to the first birthday, the child is quite capable, if not to say, but at least to show what he wants and what he needs. At this age, by requiring the baby to say what he needs, you can stimulate the development of speech. If mothers continue to try to determine on their own what the child expects from them, the developmental situation can be sad. On this occasion, there is an old anecdote that tells the story of a mute son who suddenly spoke at the age of 6. The boy asked to pass the salt at the dinner table, and everyone was delighted, they say, he finally spoke. To which the boy replied, it was just that everything was always fine before. So with children whose mothers anticipate their needs and desires in advance, they simply do not have an incentive to develop speech and communication skills.
3. Thousands of prohibitions.
A very dangerous mistake that can break a child's interest in the development and knowledge of the world around him. When a child stumbles upon a strict “no” at every step, this gradually destroys interest and curiosity in the world around him, which slows down development. How to solve this problem? It's very simple - you need to create the safest possible conditions for the child, where everything will be possible for him, and set no more than 2-3 prohibitions, be sure to justify them. In such conditions, children become independent faster, and their research interest is also stimulated.
4. Tight control.
Most often, parents tightly control not quite scarlet children - preschoolers and schoolchildren. If every time a child sits down to do homework, a strict check awaits him, he does not learn independence, to be responsible for his actions and mistakes. Excessive strictness and tight control suppress initiative, and with regular use negatively affect the emotional development of the personality of a small person.
5. Lack of discipline.
It can be difficult for an adult to discipline himself, and what can we say about children who do not have such strong-willed qualities. Therefore, the lack of discipline is not conducive to development. Absolute freedom of action does not contribute to the development in a child of important qualities for him - patience, perseverance. Moreover, chaos tires the child. But, it is important to understand that the excessive control mentioned above is also not good for the child. Therefore, a healthy balance is needed in everything. But, disciplinary rules must be present.
6. Organization of leisure.
Sometimes parents themselves do not think about the fact that they harm the child and hinder its development. At the sight of a bored and whining child, mothers, especially busy ones, immediately find something to do for him, and if it doesn’t fit, they offer something else. Of course, this is convenient, and this way you can offer the child something that will be useful for his development. But, if you constantly offer ready-made ideas for classes to your child, this will suppress initiative, creative thinking and independence in him. Sometimes you need to let the baby get bored so that he learns to occupy himself with something interesting, takes the initiative and develops independence.
7. Lack and excess of motivation.
A child needs motivation to learn new skills, to learn something, to explore. In such cases, absolutely everything works - encouragement, rewards, verbal praise. When a baby lacks this, his development slows down, because he is not motivated to new discoveries and achievements. But, the problem also arises when parents praise their child. Such children begin to do something no longer for the sake of interest, but in the name of praise or reward. Over time, addiction develops, self-esteem decreases if there is no praise or reward.
8. Overprotective.
One of the main responsibilities of a child is to take care of his safety. Therefore, there is nothing surprising in the fact that parents try to protect their baby from adversity as much as possible. But, excessive protection does not allow the child to develop and learns to take care of his own safety. For example, if a mother always holds the baby tightly in her arms near the roadway, without explaining why it is dangerous here, the baby will not learn to be careful while crossing the road and near it. In addition, excessive caution of parents can become fertile ground for the emergence of fears and the development of phobias in the baby.
9. Isolation from information.
Practically from birth to 3-4 years old, this is the period when the baby craves any information, and grasps it literally on the fly. This is an ideal time to learn letters, numbers, learn a lot of interesting things about the world around you. But, often adults mistakenly believe that due to early development and provision of information, they "steal" childhood from a child. No, this is a big mistake! It is impossible to deprive a child of what he needs most of all. After all, teaching a child something new and useful is not “taking away childhood”, but, on the contrary, making it more rich and interesting.
10. Ignoring mistakes.
Let's consider an illustrative example. Often you can observe such a picture - a child draws a clumsy line and says that it is a flower. Adults inhale affectionately, praise the baby, say "Ah, well done." And the kid sincerely believes that he is a genius artist, which is why he does not even try to draw better. Or another situation - a child rips out their toys on the playground from other children. Mom automatically picks up the baby, simultaneously taking away toys from him, and silently takes away from them. The kid is not yet developed enough to understand such a subtle hint - they say, if my mother took me away, then I did something wrong. It is not enough just to stop the wrong actions, you also need to explain to the baby what needs to be done differently, and why it is so, and not otherwise. When a kid makes a mistake, he needs to talk about it. This does not mean at all that you need to scold at every step, but the baby must form a picture in his head of what is good and what is bad. Mistakes stimulate development, and if ignored, the child will not be motivated to develop.
